Children don’t come with manuals. They don’t come with a how-to guide granting parents to avoid committing mistakes as they nurtured them. They test the limits of rules and patience. As a parent, you’re concerned about making bad mistakes that will indefinitely hurt your child and encourage poor behaviors.
You’re not excellent, no mother or father is. They’ll commit mistakes. Below are the 10 most common parenting issues and how to handle these challenges.
Act as a child’s best friend
You are the parent. You’re not your kid’s best friend. And so, there will be times that your child will not like you because you set limits on what she or he can do. Those moments will be short-lived, and “I hate you” will eventually be supported by “I love you.”
If you’re more of a friend than a parent to your child, you eliminate your role model in their life. You are the first person they look up to and want to emulate. If you’re no longer in control, they’ve nobody to respect.
Being a friend rather than a parent makes it harder for the children to know how to be themselves and connect with their peers. Also, it makes even with your relationship instead of having a parent-child connection.
Be a parent to your children and not their friend. They will give thanks to you later.
Shouting
Shouting at their children is the most common error all parents commit. While it might be the only way to get their attention, it makes strictness harder because your children are learning to ignore you. Children who are often shouted by their parents feel more scared and aggressive both verbally and physically.
Other consequences from frequently shouting at your kid include:
- Depression
- Low self-esteem
- Prone to bullying
Aloof parents
This kind of parent is the one who meets their kid’s physical needs such as food, shelter, and clothing. They don’t offer much else. They don’t attend to their child’s emotional needs and so, they feel unnurtured and unprotected.
A parent who is aloof:
- are available but aren’t welcoming
- are busy with work, hobbies, and television
- rarely say I love you
- ignore physical affection
Children with aloof parents suffer from anxieties such as fear of failure and poor confidence. They are also too arrogant and more aggressive. Children must feel though that they’re loved and wanted to feel secure. When parents are physically and emotionally available, children have security.
Overly controlling
Control freak parents feel like they’re guarding their kids against the people around and outside world. However, this is not as healthy as children often rebel against their parents. They are more likely to have higher depression and fear of making mistakes.
Giving your kids the freedom to make mistakes is okay. Children won’t learn the reason why they were wrong if parents were with them 24/.7. They would never grasp the importance of falling off a bicycle, able to get up and try harder again because their parents are always at their back.
Excessive TV watching
Most parents depend on TV to acts as an entertainer for their kids. Having a television as your kid’s sole activity is detrimental in the following aspects:
- restricts the social relationship
- avoid children from exercising
- limits resting time when they should be in bed
- restrains creativity
Watching TV is not bad, but pediatricians suggest that kids under 2 years old shouldn’t have TV time. They should focus more on their developing basic skills like motor skills and interactions. Older kids must spend on TV of 2-3 hours a day.
Not allowing them to get tired
Parents always want their kids to be entertained. This could not be further from reality. They should be allowed to get tired.
Boredom can help your kids create some exciting new games by promoting their creativity and learn how to please themselves. Also, kids learn how to communicate better with their siblings and friends if they help each other to relieve their boredom.
Irregular sleeping time
Inconsistent time for bed is a problem that most parents choose to ignore. They know their kids need a certain number of sleeping hours every night. But with younger kids who don’t have to wake up and attend school the following day, it’s easy for parents to let their sleep time be changeable and just let them complete the bedtime the next morning.
Lack of sleep is harmful to the kid’s brain development. Sleep deprivation can after their performance in school.
Bribery
For most parents, when their children throw tantrums in the middle of the crowd or a mall, the first option they do is bribe them with a treat. But this never works out well.
Though a bribe can temporarily stop their bad behavior, it only urges children’s bad attitude to continue. And so, children will learn that they can get what they wanted.
For children, bribery means:
- good attitude is for adults only
- good conduct is not something you want as a mother or father
- they aren’t good without a bribe
Kids will learn that parents are eager to “up the ante” just to stop the bad behavior.
Not setting limits
Parents of free-range kids let them do what they like when they like, and however, they like. While it might be a good idea to permit your kids to discover a life without boundaries, it educates them that they don’t have to obey the regulations of society. It also doesn’t impart them important life duties such as learning discipline, taking responsibility and self-will.
Setting boundaries teach kids how to manage their lives while emphasizing that you care. It’s okay to refuse to the wants of your kid and enforce punishment for misconduct
Humiliation
Humiliating not only hurt your child’s confidence but also harm between parent and child relationship.
The parent must avoid:
- telling a child that he’s a bad boy or girl
- saying “I’m tired of you”
Single parents must not threaten their kids to send them to live with another parent. They shouldn’t make comparisons between the bad attitude and another parent.
Sometimes, out of frustration parents carelessly shame their kids. When this happens, say sorry immediately and communicate with each other to resolve the issue.
Read also:
- 10 Ways Digital Technology Has Changed Parenting
- Parenting 101: How Financial Issues Affect Your Kids?
- 10 Common Parenting Issues and how to Deal with Them
